Suicide attempt leads to fraud

A Washington prosecutor charged a woman with multiple felonies on September 21 after she reportedly stole $28,000 in donations from her community.

On August 31, Bethany Storro of Vancouver, Washington was hospitalized for an alleged attack. She claimed that a stranger man had splashed drain cleaner on her face as she was walking on a city street.

Storro was featured in several press conferences with an entirely bandaged face. Her public attention brought in $28,000 in donations from her community in order to help with her hospital bills.

However, investigators eventually claimed that Storro had lied about the attack. She first poured drain cleaner on her own face in a suicide attempt. When the attempt failed, Storro decided to claim an attack and reap undeserved benefits.

Her parents say they will return all of the donations to local citizens. Storro now faces arrest and multiple felony charges.


Titanic sunk due to human error

A woman whose grandfather was aboard the Titanic has claimed that the real cause of the famous ship’s sinking in April 1912 was not pure accident but rather human error.

Charles Lightoller, the grandfather of Louise Patten, was second officer on the Titanic. He told authorities that the sinking of the ship was an accident. According to Patten in her new book Good as Gold, however, he told his wife the real story.

At the time of the Titanic, a new steering system had been developed so that the wheel was to be turned the opposite way of the ship’s intended direction. When crew spotted the iceberg, the captain turned the ship the wrong way.

According to Patten, the chairman of the Titanic’s company also refused to cut the ship’s engines, thinking that the ship was unsinkable and could survive a collision with an iceberg.

Fifteen hundred people died in the sinking of the Titanic.


Quran defender becomes hero

A spontaneous action by an Amarillo, Texas skateboarder brought a humorous perspective to the issue of burning the Quran.

David Grisham, head of a militia group called Repent Amarillo, was about to burn a Koran in a September 14 demonstration in Sam Houston Park when 23-year-old skateboarder Jacob Isom intervened.

Isom walked up behind Grisham, grabbed the Quran, uttered the now-famous words, “Dude, you have no Quran,” and then ran off.

Grisham stayed in the park walking around with just lighter fluid and being ridiculed by counter-protesters. Isom then gave the soaked Koran to a local Imam.

This phrase, “Dude you have no Koran” has skyrocketed Isom to internet fame. He is now making money selling shirts with his newly iconic ponytailed countenance along with his famous line.